Everywhere you go, all you really here is “if your a student, school comes first.” but really? the more i think about it, that phrase couldn’t be more wrong than it already is. if you put school before EVERYTHING else, you’d be a selfish person who has no relationship with family or friends, you’d have no WORLD skills, no simple joy (unless u REALLY enjoy the heck out of studying), and all you’d have is you and your brain. really? what has society turned us into. and plus, school CAN’T be the main priority for everyone. the people that actually have the chance to put school first before everything have it lucky. i consider that a luxury. there’s people out there who have kids while going to school, that have families to provide for while going to school, and etc. so really? putting school first isn’t everything.
i’m sitting here tryna write a research paper thats due technically later today for my history class and i just kept askin myself “why the heck am i so unmotivated or distracted and can’t get myself to focussss!!!” all i wanna do is just sit at my piano and write. the end. if i had the luxury to just spend all my days sitting and writing, i’d be in my happiest state.
but, “priorities” as a student wont allow me to do so.
so for now, gotta pull an all nighter for this paper while my heads somewhere else.
So today, my aunt let me off work early to go visit my grandma. She recently had surgery. I actually think its humorous how i thought i could get away with just writing her a card. I haven’t had much time with her like one-on-one and yea, it was kind of awkward but in more of a respectful way i guess. I miss being able to just be playful with her and say anything i wanted without thinking. I wish i had the liberty to just express myself with her. but even through the awkwardness, i know the old us is still somewhere there :)
i love you grandma and thank you for the life lessons today.
Is it so wrong for a girl to dream? Lol. Delusions are different from dreams. I was born with a heart and mind that craves wild, out of the ordinary things in every aspect of life. Some are bigger dreamers than others and I’m afraid I have the worst case. Yea it can be disappointing but without this ability, life would not be as fun :) so dream on dreamers! Because you never know where your dreams will take you!
So today really got me thinkin like who my true friends are. Id just like to start this random venting post with that. I love u guys so much and u guys r the truest/ best friends ever. Uve always got my back and will be there for me always without a doubt. Love u guys!
So WOW im kinda scared to say its my LAST year as a “teen”! And only one year away from 20! crazy how time goes sooooooo fast. Before i know it ill be 21 -_-
Although theres crazy stuff goin on, this month ( even tho its only been a week ) has brought so many blessings already. I dont think ive had this good of a weekend in a while and it was much needed. HAHAH :)
Like, lookin back i can reallllly say ive come SO far and have grown into a person i respect myself and i mean during the years it feels like forever but when u look back, it all just happened so fast! I wouldnt trade anythin that happened for the world cuz it has molded me to be the person i am today. God has always been there, watchin every step and move i make and honestly, now i KNOW u were behind EVERYTHIN that happened. It may not seem like it but u were alwaysss there. Thank u for every obstacle, blessing, person, gift youve put in my life.
It realllllllly feels like a new season is starting for me! ( lol riya)! Cus usually birthdays go by and its kinda just a normal day then life moves on but something is definitely different this year! I can just tell like today embarks a very different chapter and beginning in my life and ahh kinda nervous but bring it on :)
Thank u to my parents who have given life to me and have taught me all i know, whether it be direct or indirect. Thanks mom for always supporting me and being like a friend. Your the only one who would devote ur entire life for me and i love you soooooo much